2:02pm: I have refitted TARDIS. It is now no longer a Portaloo most of the time and has a customised "evil" dematerialisation sound.

This was extra hard to do as I am obliged, in my capacity as an Evil Supervillain, to run her on Windows. Not only is it buggy, but it keeps trying to install entire evil "themes". It took me days to get rid of the Darth Vader floor tiles. Better than the week I had to spend with XP default, though.

I am thinking of switching to a more Good Omens approach to evil whereby I merely subtly encourage others to be nastier until they want me as their Evil Ruler. This is out of efficiency and in no way to impress virtuous men in beige.

*twiddles thumbs*

I'm not bored, though. No, the evil is taking up lots of time.

6:54am:

I am flower named yourfutureruler !

I consist of my friends!

Are you flower too?

He loves me... he loves me not... he loves me... he loves me not... he loves me!

*ahem*

Um... yes.

1:46am: Animals fine. Life quite peaceful. I miss arch-villainy but I just don't have time at present. Maybe once I've taken on new staff...

Appear to have reached amicable relationship with my beloved Doctor. Is too good to last. Very civilised and all.

TARDIS is bored. It misses evil too. "At least it got to travel", apparently. Have tried taking it to theatre etc., but it seems apathetic. Other than being a Portaloo, it even lacks the will to torment me much. Sad, really. Although it's nice having a guaranteed bedroom and all.

Any attempts to torture the Doctor seem redundant anyway - barbarella69 is doing rather well on her own.

11:54pm: *sigh*
Five is obviously just using me. He mocks me openly. I feel so alone.

I just can't stay away. He's so damn gorgeous.

*sigh*

*another sigh*

Oh the pain.

Will obviously be fine soon and back to evil.

6:22pm: Oh bum.
I'm having a remarkable amount of difficulty with the whole "evil" thing at present. While I am still wearing black (TARDIS has been most forbearing of late) I find I'm saying MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! a lot less and *sigh* a lot more. I'm also having trouble with devising schemes that are up to my usual foolproof level.

This is purely temporary, of course, and I'll be back on form soon.

I wonder where Five is?

11:16pm: Peace and Love?
I know it was just the dope talking, but I seem to remember feeling all connected with the universe and so forth. (And also quite connected with Five... *sigh*.)

Now I'm sober and confused. My brain doesn't work.

Am I shag-dazed or benevolent? I wish I knew...

1:14am: Mwa ha ha
Five is getting all flustered over his pornographic dream. This is possibly the most fun ever.

12:15am: I AM GAY
Just so there's no confusion.

Thank you.

5:27pm: Evil Snarl
My fellow representatives of evil are picking on me. This is making me cry intolerable. I must assert myself to impress him re-establish my evilness.

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

5:11pm: Not Angst, Evil
Life is arse.

My brilliant evil plan is being completely ignored, most of the doctors are shagging people the cheating whores, and even the ugly sexless ones whom I'd still cheerfully shag who aren't are picking on me.

On the plus side, the Anti-Brigadier has appeared and looks cute in an eyepatch. Evil is uniting in a generally constructive - or do I mean destructive? - way, which of course makes me happy as I too am evil and not just a silly bearded wuss. God I miss him... I really look forward to the Doctor's annihilation as I actually want him dead and am not just trying to get him to notice me.

OH THE ANGUISHMWAHAHAHA!!!

What a depressing, heartrending wonderful day it's been!

11:23pm: I Win
See, I'm really *good* at evil...



So there.

10:36pm: Hmm...
Am getting mixed results with brilliant plan.

Adric useless.

Seven is totally fooled by my ploy. Mwaha.

Four believes he is Queen of England - clearly an idiot.

TARDIS is now looping Heart of Gold. Bastard.

Have started charging drunks for Portaloo. Doing quite well. Had a bit of a party last night in fact. Were all too pissed to be repulsed by my sheer evil and the stupid costume.

I will win yet! For I am really, really good.

PS Met future self.
Is quite kinky.
Mmm...

7:50pm: I have a tiny suspicion they may not be going with it...

5:00pm: The fools! The cringing fools! This time I will definitely destroy you... Doctor!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

8:31pm: Bloody Bastarding Bloody TARDIS
Well, the toilet's back.

After much cajoling, the TARDIS returned the bathroom, albeit with furry hot-pink covers on the toilet.

It wasn't until the third drunk had staggered in and pissed on the floor that I went outside and discovered TARDIS is now a Portaloo.

It won't change back.

And one of the drunks was tunelessly singing Neil Young. Brought back hideous, hideous memories of those - *shudder* - non-black clothes.

Cried in bathroom.

Came out when battering of drunks on door got too loud.

Cried in bedroom.

8:15pm: This is ridiculous. I am perfectly normal.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Very High
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

8:26am: Hello.
Still here.

Still evil.

Mwahaha.

Thank you.

7:01am: My TARDIS is sulking.

He says I never let him go out and meet other semisentient entities.

He keeps compromising my decor. There are colours. *shudder*

Hides my clothes also. Had to wear a lumberjack shirt and faded blue jeans for five days straight.

Was ashamed to show face in evil community. Only time ventured out, student attempted to engage me in conversation about Neil Young.

Hid for next eight days.

Emerged from room to find TARDIS upholstered like that ship in Barbarella.

Quite like it. Comfy.

Bathroom not yet back, however. Am having to go to pub. They're catching on. Could not bear to be banned. Not from the Tudor.

How can I make my TARDIS like me?

*sniff*

8:53pm: Mwahaha-ing
Feel have got self into a bit of a hole with this thing.

Would it compromise my evil and terrifyingness if I were to let people *assume* the mwahaha once in a while?

Repetitive Strain Injury from typing own evil laugh could otherwise interfere in building of enormous deathray which will completely expunge all versions of Doctor from history unless he somehow discovers its one fatal flaw of being easily and completely destroyed by the proximity of marmalade.

Can't have that.

7:29pm: Tra la mwa ha ha...
Oh, I'm so evil...

So very very evil...

La la la la la...

Gosh what a wonderful day.

6:59pm: MWAHAHAHAHA!
MWAHAHAHAHA!

I have read of the exciting and infinite capabilities of the Internet in the Telegraph. I know it to be not an endless waste of time but a THING OF POWER.

IT SHALL BE MINE!

MWAHAHAHAHA!

To all casual readers: I am your future lord so if you bow down before me now to get some practice in, that'd be smashing, thanks.

I shall now stalk pursue with relentless hatred my ex arch-nemesisisis through the furthest reaches of LiveJournal. He shall be mine annihilated!

MWAHAHAHAHA!


MWAHAHAHAHA!